I carried it home with me today. People have always asked me, "How do you work with cancer patients? That must be so depressing." My answer to that is that my days are usually not filled with grief and sadness. Most patients are very upbeat and positive. They are ready to put up a fight, and they don't let their guards down. The moment they find out they have cancer, their life flips upside-down and their priorities immediately change. They start having more fun, going on vacations, spending more time with family, and not letting the "little things" get them down.
I think that because of what I'm exposed to everyday, I have changed my priorities in life. Whenever I feel like I'm making a big deal out of something, I try to take a step back and ask myself, "Does it really matter? It could be worse, Jessica."
Whenever my mother is getting on my nerves, I have to remind myself that I watch children sit next to their dying mothers every. single. day. They watch that chemo drip, drip, drip and pray that it is going to save their mom's life so that they can go back to their normal lives. I am one of the lucky ones.
Yes, I make a big deal out of not being able to have children. About being infertile. I worry that I'll never be a mom to someone. But, at least Andy and I are healthy...and our family is healthy. It could be worse.
So, tonight as I stare at my bout of psychosis on the bathroom counter, I will remember how precious life can be...and how blessed we are at this point in time. I will pray for those who are heavy on my heart and have lost their battle to cancer....what a horrible disease.
Andy bought me a pack of digitals. You can blame him for contributing to my problem.
17 comments:
I did the same thing after my BFP - I had to check each day to make sure that line was getting darker! So happy for you!
You are right, life is way too short - my father is a cancer survivor for almost 12 years now. I am thankful every day that he is still here and healthy and that he will get to meet his grandchild!
Well said! Good luck tomorrow.
Jess, I love this post. It's always a humble reminder of just how fragile life is.
I am over the moon seeing your pee sticks :)
That's really a perfect photo! It demonstrates the clear progression, daily... the answer becoming more and more clear every day. Great picture!!
i am so sorry about the tough day with your patients. but i am so excited for you and the precious life(s) you are supporting right now!!
I too am an oncology nurse. Just being in the patients and families of those battling cancers presence makes you appreciate life a little bit more....
Congrats :)
So right Jess! Again a huge congrats...I like the word "pregnant" on the digital!!
Well said. Good luck tomorrow.
Those lines look pretty dark! I can't wait to hear the beta tomorrow! Sorry you had such a tough day at work, it takes a strong person to work in oncology. Those patients are lucky to have you as a nurse!
I'm loving these pee stick pics! The pregnant one is awesome! Can't wait to see more! Love y'all so much! Morgan says I love Uncle Andy and Aunt Caca so much! xoxoxoxo
Katie, Bryan, Morgan & Ace
We can blame Andy for getting my personal favorite pregnancy test...the one that spells it out for you. :) So happy and DEFINITELY praying for you tonight and tomorrow for your appt.
I am so sorry for the day you had today. What we do is not easy but I believe in my heart it is what we are meant to do (and you are damn good at it too ;-) As much as you can focus on the positive, which you are looking at on your bathroom counter.
Heather
When have I ever gotten on your nerves? News to me! ;) don't comment Katherine Leroux... :)
God Bless you for the job you do - I won't even pretend I know how hard it is. I have had several family members taken care of by people like you and I am so grateful for them. For all of you. I'm sorry you had a rough day, but I bet it's part of what makes you really great at your job....
Loving that line positive pee sticks!
So sorry you had to go through that today. Thank you for doing the job that you do...
Good luck today, make those blood tests your you-know-what. K. Love you!
LOVE THIS POST! You can imagine how blessed I felt when I found out I was pregnant. There were no words to describe it. Being a cancer survivor really opens your eyes to the little things. You are an amazing person Jess, to be able to do what you do on a daily basis. Oncology nurses are angels...all of them. That digital test is freaking GORGEOUS! Good luck today!
You know how close cancer can hit home first hand. You're such a compassionate person! I appreciate all that you do! Still praying for you and Andy!
Love, Aunt M
PS. You've only had to put up with your mother for 32 years. I've dealt with it for 51! :) Love you MK!
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