Cycle over.
Our donor went in for her retrieval this morning. Out of the 20+ follicles seen via ultrasound, she only gave up 9 usable eggs. Since we are doing a split cycle and are the secondary couple, all 9 of them went to the primary couple. It is their policy not to split them up if they retrieve less than 10 eggs. F'awesome.
I remember my nurse saying after our last cycle was canceled that taking secondary was no big deal because the secondary gets dropped <5% of the time...well, we should have known that the odds are always against Andy and Jessica!
Andy drove all the way to Charleston this morning to sit in the lobby for an hour and a half before our doctor finally came out to tell him the news. Needless to say, that trip, all of the time off work, all of the medications we've taken for the past 2.5 months, and ultrasounds we've paid for out of pocket were a waste.
The other couple already delayed the cycle by a few weeks because she couldn't ever seem to start her period. We also found out that they are self-pay and didn't have the Shared Risk program like us. This means that they are going to have to strike a check today for double the amount to cover our half of the cycle, which really sucks for them.
On a positive note, since we contracted with the Shared Risk program, this cycle doesn't count against us. We were very close to not doing Shared Risk and taking a leap of faith by paying out of pocket for one cycle. If we would have done that, look at where we'd be now! Out 20 grand because of a canceled cycle and no money to do it again!
So, we have to start from scratch. Again. If we ever make it to a freaking transfer I'll be shocked! I've been giving myself injections and taking meds for almost 2.5 months now...forrrrr nothing. I am to stop all medications today, start my period sometime next week, and our nurse will be emailing us another password to pick another donor and start this process all over again.
We're definitely picking primary couple this time around. Because of that, we will have to wait until another couple picks the same donor as secondary. Then go through another round of genetic testing. Then medicines and ultrasounds again for another three months.
We are going to start planning a trip for our 10 year anniversary that is coming up in two weeks! Yippee! We have decided that we are going to go to Chicago to visit my little sister who just moved up there. We were not sure that we'd be able to go because of the cycle, but I guess now we can!
We're going to spend the remainder of our weekend taking naps and drinking. Thank you all for your support, and I'm sorry to have let you all down. Ahh the joys of the infertility roller coaster.
We will keep the Faith that it will eventually be our turn!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
STOP! Triggertime.
It's official! Cindy Lou Who will be triggering tonight and her retrieval will be on Saturday morning!!! Woot Woot! Everything looks perfect and we are so blessed that this went as smoothly as it did. Now we are praying that her retrieval and postop goes well and that our half of the eggs fertilize normally!
Andy has to be in Charleston at 10 am Saturday morning to give up some baby batter. Just to be safe, they will perform ICSI since we have had a problem with his count and the sperm penetrating the eggs in the past. Our embryologist will call us early Sunday morning to give us a fertilization report and schedule a tentative 3 day transfer on Tuesday. If it looks as if our embryos are strong come Tuesday, they will stretch it out to a 5 day transfer when they are in the blastocyst stage (we have never made it to a 5DT with our previous IVF's).
My last Lupron injection is tomorrow morning...sweet. I've been giving myself those darn things for almost two months now. My belly needs a break man! Andy will start giving me the PIO butt injections on Saturday and we will continue that 2x daily with the estrogen 3x daily up until the day of transfer. I will then switch to a PIO injection every morning, and a Prometrium suppository every evening. I am having to do all of this artificially because my body will not do it on its own since they have shut my system down to prevent me from ovulating/starting my period. All of these hormones are needed to support a pregnancy until the placenta is able to do it on its own at around 9 weeks of pregnancy.
Complicated. Ridiculousness.
I just wish that I could meet this girl and give her a huge hug. She will never know how thankful we are for being so selfless and putting her life on hold for us. I mean seriously...she has a husband and toddler at home and her ovaries are about to spontaneously combust because she wants to help a complete stranger have a baby. We are forever grateful for Cindy Lou Who!
We also want to thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers in the previous posts. Not only do you guys ROCK, you are our ROCK. We appreciate all of your love and support through all of this. I must say that I definitely found out who my true friends are, once again, while going through all of this!
I titled this post Triggertime, and now I can't get It's Hammertime out of my head. Let me pay homage to my main man M.C. whilst I'm at it.
I even owned and proudly sported a pair of neon splatter-painted hammer pants to school in 5th grade. Can't touch this. That is all.
Andy has to be in Charleston at 10 am Saturday morning to give up some baby batter. Just to be safe, they will perform ICSI since we have had a problem with his count and the sperm penetrating the eggs in the past. Our embryologist will call us early Sunday morning to give us a fertilization report and schedule a tentative 3 day transfer on Tuesday. If it looks as if our embryos are strong come Tuesday, they will stretch it out to a 5 day transfer when they are in the blastocyst stage (we have never made it to a 5DT with our previous IVF's).
My last Lupron injection is tomorrow morning...sweet. I've been giving myself those darn things for almost two months now. My belly needs a break man! Andy will start giving me the PIO butt injections on Saturday and we will continue that 2x daily with the estrogen 3x daily up until the day of transfer. I will then switch to a PIO injection every morning, and a Prometrium suppository every evening. I am having to do all of this artificially because my body will not do it on its own since they have shut my system down to prevent me from ovulating/starting my period. All of these hormones are needed to support a pregnancy until the placenta is able to do it on its own at around 9 weeks of pregnancy.
Complicated. Ridiculousness.
I just wish that I could meet this girl and give her a huge hug. She will never know how thankful we are for being so selfless and putting her life on hold for us. I mean seriously...she has a husband and toddler at home and her ovaries are about to spontaneously combust because she wants to help a complete stranger have a baby. We are forever grateful for Cindy Lou Who!
We also want to thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers in the previous posts. Not only do you guys ROCK, you are our ROCK. We appreciate all of your love and support through all of this. I must say that I definitely found out who my true friends are, once again, while going through all of this!
I titled this post Triggertime, and now I can't get It's Hammertime out of my head. Let me pay homage to my main man M.C. whilst I'm at it.
I even owned and proudly sported a pair of neon splatter-painted hammer pants to school in 5th grade. Can't touch this. That is all.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
She's Almost There!
Stimulation Day 10We have about 20 follicles on today's ultrasound! She is doing much better than I ever did...geez. I was told that there were quite a few more, but they were smaller than the others. Keep in mind that we're going for quality vs. quantity. She could spit out 50 eggs, but that doesn't mean that they will all be mature. We won't know until the actual retrieval, but at least this gives us a good idea!
Our nurse is 99% sure that the retrieval will take place on Saturday 4/30/11. Our donor has another ultrasound/labs tomorrow to confirm this. My nurse will call me tomorrow afternoon with medication instructions and an appointment for Andy in Charleston to give a babyfish sample. I will have to start progesterone-in-oil (PIO) injections soon, so I'm getting the heating pad warmed up for those. Andy will basically be injecting my butt cheek with molasses twice daily...awesomeballs! Please pray for my butt...and for Andy to have a steady hand! I think that I will be stopping the Lupron injections this weekend too...thank goodness. Menopause ain't no joke.
Time to get the bags packed for a roadtrip to Charleston! So excited! After six redonkulous years, we may actually have a good chance at becoming mommy and daddy soon!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Egg Hunting
Stimulation Day 8
Our donor had her first ultrasound this morning! So far, everything looks great! She is responding to the stimulation meds and her labs are within normal limits. My nurse told me that she has about 12 follicles that are >12mm and a bunch more that are <12 mm. She said that this was a very good number for the first ultrasound. If I recall correctly, I had about 4 follicles with IVF #1 and 8 follicles with IVF #2 at my first ultrasounds. Work it little 23 year old girl...popowww! Of course, the final number will be split between us and another couple, but I'll be happy with whatever! Thank God for the shared-risk program!
Normally, the follicles mature around 22ish mm, and then she will receive her trigger (HCG) injection. The trigger injection is one of the most critical parts of the cycle. It induces the final maturation of the eggs, loosens the egg's attachment from the follicle wall, and allows for timing of the egg retrieval. It basically prepares her body for ovulation. However, my doctor will manually ovulate her before her body does the deed itself. She will have the retrieval exactly 36 hours after she gives herself the trigger.
Her next ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday, and I will receive an update that afternoon! As of now, she suspects that the retrieval will occur Friday or Saturday, but we won't know for sure until Wednesday. Andy will have to drive down to Charleston on the day of the retrieval to watch porn in their lab so that he can provide a sample. I don't know why he needs porn...all he has to do is think about me. In those stirrups. In my tube socks. Haha.
Oh, the life of an infertile couple.
So my transfer could take place anywhere from next Monday 5/2 through Thursday 5/5. Which means I may have to ask for another last minute day off work, but whatever! Priorities! We will probably head down to Charleston Sunday night to just wait it out next week. Hopefully we'll get a good fertilization report so that we're not on pins and needles the entire time we are there.
Our donor had her first ultrasound this morning! So far, everything looks great! She is responding to the stimulation meds and her labs are within normal limits. My nurse told me that she has about 12 follicles that are >12mm and a bunch more that are <12 mm. She said that this was a very good number for the first ultrasound. If I recall correctly, I had about 4 follicles with IVF #1 and 8 follicles with IVF #2 at my first ultrasounds. Work it little 23 year old girl...popowww! Of course, the final number will be split between us and another couple, but I'll be happy with whatever! Thank God for the shared-risk program!
Normally, the follicles mature around 22ish mm, and then she will receive her trigger (HCG) injection. The trigger injection is one of the most critical parts of the cycle. It induces the final maturation of the eggs, loosens the egg's attachment from the follicle wall, and allows for timing of the egg retrieval. It basically prepares her body for ovulation. However, my doctor will manually ovulate her before her body does the deed itself. She will have the retrieval exactly 36 hours after she gives herself the trigger.
Her next ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday, and I will receive an update that afternoon! As of now, she suspects that the retrieval will occur Friday or Saturday, but we won't know for sure until Wednesday. Andy will have to drive down to Charleston on the day of the retrieval to watch porn in their lab so that he can provide a sample. I don't know why he needs porn...all he has to do is think about me. In those stirrups. In my tube socks. Haha.
Oh, the life of an infertile couple.
So my transfer could take place anywhere from next Monday 5/2 through Thursday 5/5. Which means I may have to ask for another last minute day off work, but whatever! Priorities! We will probably head down to Charleston Sunday night to just wait it out next week. Hopefully we'll get a good fertilization report so that we're not on pins and needles the entire time we are there.
Andy got me this cool piece of chocolate for Easter. If you look closely it has an awesome Faith verse:
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)
I just love a good Faith verse. It is so very true and I'm trying to keep that mindset through all of this! My awesome mom also cooked Easter dinner last night. I chowed down on some homemade fried chicken, butter beans, mashed potatoes, and cheddar-garlic biscuits. For dessert we had a delish egg shaped cheesecake/mousse dessert from Jrs Cheesecake...it was fantabulous! It was just Andy, myself, and my parents. My youngest sister moved to Chicago last week, and my other sister lives about 2 hours away with her husband and child. My little brother was out of town. It was kind of depressing, but Skype came to the rescue. How can something so awesome be free??
For those who celebrate Easter, I hope that you had a wonderful day!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
My Baby Momma
If everything goes as planned, our donor will start stimulating tomorrow! Shwing! She should stimulate for about 12 days and her tentative retrieval date is set for April 30. It is at that time when we will get half of however many eggs are retrieved and they will be fertilized with Andy's sperm via ICSI. The other half will go to the couple we are splitting the cycle with. The embryos should divide and grow over the course of 3-5 days, then two of the best ones will be transferred to my uterus on either May 3 or May 5. If any embryos survive 5 days past fertilization they can be frozen for future use.
The donor will have to go to our clinic every 2-3 days during the stimulation phase so that they can check her follicle count, size, and hormone levels. They will adjust her medications as needed, and when the follicles reach a certain size she will give herself a HCG trigger injection and go in for the retrieval ~48 hours later. I am so glad that I don't have to do this again!!! The only thing that scares me is the loss of control over everything. Having to depend on her to do the medications correctly and at the right times is bringing out the OCD in me. I find myself wondering, is she taking care of herself? Did she forget to do her injection this morning? I am going to have to set all of these fears aside and put it all in God's hands!
She is supposed to have a baseline ultrasound tomorrow, and they will give her the go-ahead to begin stims if all is well. My nurse should call me with updates after each ultrasound to give me reports. This is REAL y'all! So excited!
In case anyone is interested, I found this cool video that explains all of the aspects of an IVF retrieval/transfer. It even shows how they do ICSI and assisted hatching. It's long, but pretty cool! So, if any of my lingo is confusing you...refer to this video! Again, thank you all for your support. I will be in touch:)
The donor will have to go to our clinic every 2-3 days during the stimulation phase so that they can check her follicle count, size, and hormone levels. They will adjust her medications as needed, and when the follicles reach a certain size she will give herself a HCG trigger injection and go in for the retrieval ~48 hours later. I am so glad that I don't have to do this again!!! The only thing that scares me is the loss of control over everything. Having to depend on her to do the medications correctly and at the right times is bringing out the OCD in me. I find myself wondering, is she taking care of herself? Did she forget to do her injection this morning? I am going to have to set all of these fears aside and put it all in God's hands!
She is supposed to have a baseline ultrasound tomorrow, and they will give her the go-ahead to begin stims if all is well. My nurse should call me with updates after each ultrasound to give me reports. This is REAL y'all! So excited!
In case anyone is interested, I found this cool video that explains all of the aspects of an IVF retrieval/transfer. It even shows how they do ICSI and assisted hatching. It's long, but pretty cool! So, if any of my lingo is confusing you...refer to this video! Again, thank you all for your support. I will be in touch:)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
April Fools! Sike.
I should have wrote this post the day it happened...April Fools Day. I've been so incredibly busy. I started my own photography business earlier this year (outside of my career as a nurse) and I'm loving every minute of it! I will save that for another post!
Anyway, my nurse called me on 4/1 to inform me that the other couple in our split donor cycle has not started their period yet.
Blink. Blink.
Wha...wha...what??? For once my body is cooperating perfectly, and the other couple is screwing everything up! To put things into perspective, she should have started her period with me back on 3/20. Marvelous. Sooo, the only information given to me was that she was symptomatic and should be starting soon. First question..."Is the heffa pregnant?" Answer...No.
The donor and I have been placed in a "holding pattern" until the little miss catches up with us. The donor will now start stims on 4/18 instead of 4/4, and her retrieval will now be 4/30 instead of 4/16. Just another little annoying bump in the road.
I did have another ultrasound on 4/4 which revealed a perfect uterus with a nice plump lining of 11.2mm, and no cysts! I will continue Lupron injections everyday, and I am up to two estrogen tablets three times daily. I was concerned that feeding my lining for another month would make it start growing out of my vajayjay, but she assured me that they have it under control and that my uterus will be just fine.
Now for a little venting session. I really really wanted to keep this cycle a secret from the majority for our own self preservation. It is just too emotionally draining to explain all of this complicated nonsense to everyone. However, a disgruntled, emotionally abusive, and hostile a$$wipe that I work with has caused some commotion at work because some of us "take advantage of our boss" and "come and go as we please". This all starting occurring when I "snuck" in late after one of my morning doctor appointments. Now, my boss has been moved to another office and I have to start all over and explain why I need spur of the moment days off to my new boss. It may not seem like a big deal, but thinking about having to go tell her is about to give me a panic attack and that is the last thing I need right now. Legally, I know that all I have to tell her is that it's medical and then I wouldn't have to give any further information.
But seriously? Scenario: Imagine having to go to someone you barely know and tell them that you need off, but you don't know when. Or for how long. You can't tell them why you need off, and if it's a day when someone else is already off you have to have off as well because it's not an option. Then they have to find someone to work in your place at the very last minute. But nobody knows why. If they can't find a fill-in, then they are shorthanded and have a crazy day. After awhile, people start talking, wondering, getting pissed off, and starting rumors. Then you have to go back to work and act like nothing is going on. It's starting to become more stressful to lie about it than it would be to just be honest with people. I just wish that the disgruntled "It" who caused this unnecessary stress would go elsewhere. I mean, why work somewhere when you absolutely hate your job and just show up to slam and throw things around all day, verbally abuse your coworkers, and make everyone else miserable? Negative people are so toxic to the environment. Grrrr.
Anyway, my nurse called me on 4/1 to inform me that the other couple in our split donor cycle has not started their period yet.
Blink. Blink.
Wha...wha...what??? For once my body is cooperating perfectly, and the other couple is screwing everything up! To put things into perspective, she should have started her period with me back on 3/20. Marvelous. Sooo, the only information given to me was that she was symptomatic and should be starting soon. First question..."Is the heffa pregnant?" Answer...No.
The donor and I have been placed in a "holding pattern" until the little miss catches up with us. The donor will now start stims on 4/18 instead of 4/4, and her retrieval will now be 4/30 instead of 4/16. Just another little annoying bump in the road.
I did have another ultrasound on 4/4 which revealed a perfect uterus with a nice plump lining of 11.2mm, and no cysts! I will continue Lupron injections everyday, and I am up to two estrogen tablets three times daily. I was concerned that feeding my lining for another month would make it start growing out of my vajayjay, but she assured me that they have it under control and that my uterus will be just fine.
Now for a little venting session. I really really wanted to keep this cycle a secret from the majority for our own self preservation. It is just too emotionally draining to explain all of this complicated nonsense to everyone. However, a disgruntled, emotionally abusive, and hostile a$$wipe that I work with has caused some commotion at work because some of us "take advantage of our boss" and "come and go as we please". This all starting occurring when I "snuck" in late after one of my morning doctor appointments. Now, my boss has been moved to another office and I have to start all over and explain why I need spur of the moment days off to my new boss. It may not seem like a big deal, but thinking about having to go tell her is about to give me a panic attack and that is the last thing I need right now. Legally, I know that all I have to tell her is that it's medical and then I wouldn't have to give any further information.
But seriously? Scenario: Imagine having to go to someone you barely know and tell them that you need off, but you don't know when. Or for how long. You can't tell them why you need off, and if it's a day when someone else is already off you have to have off as well because it's not an option. Then they have to find someone to work in your place at the very last minute. But nobody knows why. If they can't find a fill-in, then they are shorthanded and have a crazy day. After awhile, people start talking, wondering, getting pissed off, and starting rumors. Then you have to go back to work and act like nothing is going on. It's starting to become more stressful to lie about it than it would be to just be honest with people. I just wish that the disgruntled "It" who caused this unnecessary stress would go elsewhere. I mean, why work somewhere when you absolutely hate your job and just show up to slam and throw things around all day, verbally abuse your coworkers, and make everyone else miserable? Negative people are so toxic to the environment. Grrrr.
And now, I leave you on a more joyful note...a glimpse into the life of Andy and Jessica. Here are a couple of pictures taken by Andy while goofing off in the exam room. One time he even got away with a disposable speculum. I can't take him anywhere.
Warning: If you are easily offended, don't go any further. Heck, for that matter, you probably shouldn't read my blog at all! ;)
I'm so classy.
Meet Mr. Dildo Cam...an infertile's sugar daddy. I've been out on about 5937492863476 dates with him! At about $300 bucks a pop, I should be his sugar mama!
I also want to give a HUGE CONGRATS to my blog friend Melissa who just found out she is preggo after her 1st IVF cycle!!! I met her when I first started blogging, so we have shared a good portion of this journey together. Out of all of my original blog friends, she and I were the only ones still hanging. She has been incredibly supportive and I can't think of anyone more deserving of this! Please check out her blog, Banking On It...she's an awesome writer:)
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