To make a long story short...well, maybe not so short.

Once upon a time, in April of 2005, I took my last birth control pill. I had been on those things for about 8 years...so I was glad to not have to take them anymore. I forgot to take them half of the time anyway...haha! I was a month away from graduating from nursing school, and Andy graduated the following semester. This was it! We had finally worked hard enough to make it through school so that we could start building our little family.

We were still living in Auburn, Alabama (where Andy's family is) and had been talking about moving back to South Carolina with my family. I was extremely homesick and started to freak out...I wanted my mom to be there to help me when our new little one came along. As the months passed after graduation, I still wasn't pregnant. No big deal...we hadn't really started trying per say, we just weren't preventing it.

My younger sister, Katie, was getting married in August of that year. I remember her asking me, "so, when are ya'll going to have a baby?" We had already been married 4 years at the time, so that question was getting thrown at us pretty often. We knew that we wanted to have everything in line (education, finances, etc.) before trying to have children. I guess everyone thought it was weird because we weren't jumping head first into parenthood like most couples do. After Katie's wedding was when we really started trying.

A few months passed, annnnd nothing. According to statistics, it can take upwards of 1 year for the average healthy couple to conceive. I remember the first time I broke down. It was in my parent's bathroom in 2005 the day before New Years Eve. I was positive that I was pregnant. Period late, sore boobs, the works. And then there was the ever faithful period. What the hell? I know it had only been 8 months, but something was nagging at me. Deep down inside, I knew that this might be a long road. But I still had hope. I remember it took so-and-so two years, I told myself. Little did I know that I would be sitting here 4 years (translate to 48+ pregnancy tests) later.

Andy was offered a job transfer to Augusta, so we were able to move back home in March 2006. We had built our first home and we were so excited to move in! We made sure that it had 3 bedrooms: one for us, one for an office/guest room, and one for our future baby. I didn't really want to furnish the 3rd bedroom in hopes that we would soon be decorating a nursery. I've stood in that room a number of times imagining where the crib would go, what color it would be painted, etc. It was hard enough walking past that room everyday so we decided to put a bedroom set in there about a year ago. Nothing permanent, right? Hopefully we can turn it into a nursery one day!

Fast forward to the Fall of 2006. It had been roughly a year and a half of trying on our own, so we decided to get professional help. In August of 2006, we were referred by our OB/GYN to a very reputable fertility specialist in Augusta. Andy and I both went to this appointment and Andy had a sperm analysis performed. We were relieved to hear that his sperm count was fine, but his motility and morphology were abnormal. Motility is how the sperm swim, and morphology is how they are shaped. Marvelous. To find some humor in this, we just pictured that he had 3 headed sperm that were having seizures on the way to the egg. Apparently many men have this problem and most pregnancies are acheived without problems from this. It only takes 1 good sperm cell!

After our consultation, I was set up to have a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) performed. A HSG is an X-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes which allows visualization of the inside of the uterus and tubes. I was told to take a few Advil before the exam because "it may cause some discomfort." So, I'm laying on this cold table, stirrups and all, when my doctor injects a dye through a thin catheter into my uterus. For a normal test, the dye is supposed to flow into my tubes and out into my abdominal cavity to be reabsorbed. Let's just say I was the exception. It felt as if my uterus and tubes were being blown up like a balloon. Some discomfort? I grabbed the sides of the table and looked up at my anatomy on the monitor. The dye was not pushing past my tubes, so my doctor stopped the procedure. I was told that the ends of my tubes were blocked and that I would have to have surgery so that he could get a better look at what was going on inside of me. Of course I started beast crying...I don't know if it was from the pain, the news that I had to have surgery, or relief because this may have been the reason I wasn't getting pregnant.

I had a laporoscopy in October of 2006, which means they went through my belly button with a camera to view the inside of my abdominal cavity/reproductive organs. They also performed a hysteroscopy to view the inside of my uterus as well. What my doctor found were several areas of scar tissue, or adhesions, on my fallopian tubes and the outside of my uterus. This basically translates to endometriosis. This is when the lining of your uterus, or endometrium, grows in areas other than the inside of your uterus. It can cause painful and heavy periods, among other things. I have also been told that the endometrial cells can release factors which are detrimental to gametes or embryos, although I don't think this has been proven. My doctor was able to remove most of the lesions and ensure that my tubes were open. I was told that I was Stage 1, which isn't very bad at all. I've heard horror stories about women who have it so bad that it looks as if they have a spider web wrapped around their organs!

I recovered from my surgery and went on to start a new job in November 2006. My doctor had planned to do intrauterine insemination in the coming months. He said that we had the best chance of conceiving with this because of Andy's sperm issues. Imagine my discomfort when I had to have a talk with my new (male) boss to get time off to do this. Thankfully, he was very understanding, but I still felt bad about all of the appointments I had to go to. I eventually decided that, above all, family comes first. A job is a job, and this was our priority.

Our first IUI was in December 2006. I had to take Clomid, a fertility medication that helps to produce multiple eggs to ensure a better chance at getting pregnant with the procedure. I had to have frequent bloodwork and ultrasounds done to monitor my ovaries. When they felt that my follicles were mature enough, I had to receive an injection of HCG, or human chorionic gonadotropin. This medication made me ovulate at a specific time so that they could time the IUI correctly. I went in about 36 hours after the shot for the insemination. To do this, Andy had to submit a sperm sample in which the laboratory took "the best of the best" sperm for the procedure. The IUI was fairly simple...almost like a pap smear. They injected the sperm into my uterus next to my tubes and I had to lay there for about half an hour. They also did another ultrasound which confirmed that my egg was traveling down my tubes as planned. I was so relieved to know that the egg was actually in my tubes, and not floating around elsewhere. Technology is amazing.

Unfortunately, my beta pregnancy test came back negative. We were disappointed, but sometimes it takes a few tries to work. We went on to do two more IUI's with this doctor which were unsuccessful. Andy had also lost his job in the midst of it all, so emotionally and financially we needed a break. We decided to try on our own without all of the medications for the majority of 2007. To our disappointment, we never got pregnant. I just didn't understand what was wrong with us. You name it, we tried it. Temperature charting, cervical mucus charting, ovulation tests, sex everyday, sex every other day, and headstands...to say the least. Sex wasn't as fun as it used to be. Each month, it became a mundane routine...and I'm sure that the stress of it all didn't help anything. When I would get a negative pregnancy test or start my period, it almost felt as if someone had died. I think that is the best way to describe the feeling.


It's also amazing at how much it consumes your life. It seemed as if everyone around me was pregnant, and babies were pushing babies around in strollers. I never noticed it until then. I had just assumed that I would get off of birth control and get pregnant as easily as everyone else. I became bitter towards pregnant women, and that bitterness turned into anger. It's so hard to explain things to someone who has never had problems getting pregnant. Alot of people, out of the goodness of their hearts, try to say things to make me feel better. On the contrary, alot of what they say is the completely wrong thing to say. For example, "just relax and it will happen." How will it "happen" if I have chunks of my uterus blocking my fallopian tubes and Andy's sperm are having seizures trying to get there? Or, "why don't you just adopt?" Well, adoption can cost close to $40,000 and can take years to complete. Not to mention the fact that the mother still has the right to change her mind at the last minute. We have decided that we would like to try for a biological child first, and if that doesn't happen, we will then resort to adoption if financially feasible. We even received the, "maybe it's a blessing that you can't have children...your life is over when you have them anyway." Let's not go there. Some people just take children for granted.

Okay, I'm off my soap box now! Gosh, it feels good to get this off my chest! Now, where were we?

We decided to go see another fertility doctor in late 2007 to get a second opinion. We felt that we were being pressured to hurry up and do IVF (the big-daddy of fertilization procedures) and we just weren't ready to go down that road. This new doctor seemed very optimistic that he could get us pregnant. He was very personable, and he actually wanted to do the less expensive procedures instead of encouraging us to give him our life savings for IVF.

The next step was to do 3 more Clomid IUI's, and if unsuccessful, another laporoscopy. Endometriosis is a chronic disease, and it does grow back. I believe the only cure is birth control in which the hormones suppress it. Obviously, we couldn't take birth control. As you can probably guess, the 3 IUI's didn't work. I had more surgery in June 2008. Luckily, my tubes were still open. He had to remove more endometriosis from the outside of my uterus and some on my left ovary. He found a benign cyst inside of my uterus, but this was no big deal. I was clean and ready to pursue more treatments.

We went on to do another IUI in July 2008. This cycle was cancelled due to a very large cyst that formed on my left ovary. This was most likely the result of the Clomid I was taking, for ovarian cysts are a common side effect of this medication.

My new doctor told me to call him back at the start of my next period so that we could begin a new cycle. I didn't call him back. I felt that the cyst was my body's way of telling me to slow down...that I needed another break. On the financial aspect, I was sick of throwing hard earned money down the drain like I was playing roulette in Vegas. We were up to about $10,000 in debt from all of the procedures. All I could think about was, Dear God...if we ever get pregnant, we're not going to have the money to raise the child! It's so ironic how we busted our butts to get educations to be stable enough to give our children a good life. And now, we've spent all of the money we've saved and money given to us by my parents who wanted to help out. God bless them. We hope that one day we can give them a grandchild to repay them for all they have done for us.

In March of this year, I was told by my OB that because of our failed IUI attempts, we would most likely not have a chance in getting pregnant without IVF. That being said, we were starting to get used to the idea of not having children. Until April of this year. Someone very close to us offered to help out with a loan that, in combination with our own money, will help us to afford IVF without having to sell our house and cars! Their identity will remain anonymous to respect their privacy. Things will be tight for awhile, and we will pay them back every cent, but the end result will be well worth it!!!

We went with a fertility specialist out of Charleston, SC who has been recommended by many. This clinic's success rates are awesome in comparison to other clinics in the Southeast. We will have to travel alot, but thankfully they have a satellite clinic in Columbia, SC to make things easier. They are also letting us go to our old doctor's office in Augusta to be monitored throughout the cycles, so that will help us out tremendously, considering we will both continue working full time. We were very impressed during our consultation, and feel very good about our choice. After much testing, we have been approved for a "shared-risk" program. This program allows us to pay a set fee of around $22,000 for 3 Fresh IVF cycles and 3 Frozen IVF cycles. This fee does not cover medications or monitoring, which will cost about $3000-$4000 per cycle. If we do not bring home a live baby after the 6 attempts, then they refund 70% of the initial fee of $22,000. If we were to just pay for 1 cycle, it would cost around $15,000. Basically, if it works the first time, we pay more than we would have for one cycle. If it takes all 6 attempts, then it's a good deal. We decided to do this program because of our history with failed attempts, and the fact that it could take more than 1 cycle to work. Statistics show that it takes an average of 2.1 cycles for women in my age group to achieve pregnancy with IVF.

We are scared and excited at the same time, if that makes sense. We are so blessed to have been given an opportunity that we never thought we'd be able to do. I am excited to keep you all updated on our progress via this blog, and we are asking for all of the prayers we can get! Our first IVF cycle is planned for July 2009, so I will let everyone know when we get started.

Much love:)

Andy and Jessica

We are Andy and Jessica...

So...I signed up for this blog over 2 months ago, and I'm still staring at a blank page! Sure have had fun decorating it though:) I've been told by many people over the past several years that I need to keep a journal about recent issues that we've dealt with, a form of therapy if you will. Under careful consideration, I have come to the realization that it is probably a good idea. So here we go...


My name is Jessica, and I'm an alcoholic. No, I'm just kidding:) Let's try this again...


My name is Jessica, and I'm married to a wonderful man named Andy. We have been together for 11 years and married for 8 years now! Wow! Crazy how time flies. We married with the same goals as most people have:


1. Have fun on the honeymoon.

2. Have fun after the honeymoon.

3. Get the education and careers in line.

4. Get comfortable in the careers.

5. Save money.

6. Buy a car or two.

7. Buy a house.

8. Have fun in the house.

9. Save more money.

10. Have fun with the money and start saving again.

11. Attend as many Gamecock and Auburn football games as possible.
12. Make a baby or two. Or three.
13. Raise the baby(ies).
14. Save for retirement.
15. Spend the retirement investments and start saving again.
16. Get the baby(ies) educated and married off.

17. Retire with whatever money we have left.

18. Play with grandchildren.

19. Get put in the nursing home, courtesy of the baby(ies).

20. Let the baby(ies) finish off the retirement savings.


I would say we've done pretty good with goals one through eleven. We're stuck on twelve, and have been for a little over 4 years now. I guess it goes to show that no matter how much you plan your life out, God has his own plans in mind.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not writing this blog to make people feel sorry for us. I'm not trying to throw a pity party. The way I look at it, everyone has their own journey and challenges in life, and everyone's challenges are equally important. Life is all about each of us sharing our unique experiences...and about supporting each other through the struggles that we all face. I'm not sure if anyone other than myself is going to keep up with this blog, but I wanted a way to better verbalize my feelings and frustrations throughout this journey. Who knows, maybe I can be an inspiration and help someone else who is going through the same thing!

This blog is probably going to be very difficult, as I tend to bottle EVERYTHING up inside. Many friends and family members have asked me questions throughout our treatments, and I have a hard time answering them without getting extremely frustrated and emotional. It's hard for a "fertile" person to understand how it impacts our life. The same goes with anyone trying to comprehend something they've never been through. Think about it...you may try to sympathize with someone diagnosed with a certain disease, but what if it was you who was diagnosed? How scared would you be? How would it change your life? How would it impact your quality of life and finances? Wouldn't you want to confide in your family and friends and have them support you along the way? I feel that this is a good way for me to keep our family and friends updated on our progress, and hopefully help them to understand what runs through my mind on what seems like a constant basis now.


I am not sure if Andy will actually add posts on here, but he has given me permission to transcribe his daily thoughts. He says, "What's up." Maybe I can get him to open up a little more later:)


So, cheers. Here's to a happy and healthy journey of achieving goal #12 with the help of fertility treatments. Feel free to ask me any questions and leave comments...I will be injecting myself with many hormones, but I can't bite your head off through the internet:)

We are Andy and Jessica...and we want to make test tube babies.