Smooth Sailing

No pain!!! No cyst!!! Could this finally be it?

It wasn't there last month either. I wonder if my body is finally going to cooperate.

I'm beginning to think that it had something to do with all of the caffeine I was consuming...I haven't had a drop of it since August. I know caffeine causes fibrocystic breast changes, and just recently learned that it can cause ovarian cysts as well. Water is swell, but I sure do miss my morning bottle of Diet Pepsi!

I began my Lupron injections this morning, and will continue it every day for the entire cycle. They doubled my dose to 20 units in hopes that it will keep the cyst far, far away. If you remember last time, the Lupron is to suppress my ovaries until they are ready to add the stimulation drugs to the mix.

I know I said that last weekend would be my last football game of the season, but, well, you know...things change. My good friend is going to treat us to a weekend in Knoxville for the Carolina/Tenn game! Yay! Plus, Halloween is getting old around here...it's no fun with just the two of us handing out candy all night. We get jealous that we can't be out there with our own kids! Oh well, maybe next year...

We hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloweenie weekend!

The Islands Will Have To Wait

Hopefully, we can finally slather a baby in sunblock and take him with us to the islands instead.

IVF #2. Just so you know, it's a go.

The past few weeks have been crazy busy and I have had a hard time trying to find the time to sit down and give an update! I took on a side job to try to make some extra money for our cycles and it has been keeping me on my toes.

Today is cycle day 12. As of now, I'm back on the birth control pills and have been for a little over a week. I had an ultrasound on day 3 which showed that the "little cyst" had once again resolved...if I could just reach in there and beat the crap out of it I would! The goal is to keep me from ovulating while on the pill this time. I'm carefully monitoring myself for any discomfort down there as well as using an ovulation predictor test. So far, the tests have been negative, but it's still too early to tell. I always know when the cyst is rearing its ugly head. If I feel it, I will be calling my doctor that very second so that he can schedule an ultrasound. We've invested too much into this and we're not playing around or experimenting anymore. We are our own best advocates, right?

What happens if the cyst comes back? I was told that I need to pack up and head to Charleston to have it aspirated. Since the cyst and the hormones it was secreting affected my egg quality and the outcome of our 1st cycle, the sooner we get rid of it the better. Hopefully it won't come to that. I'm finding myself more uptight and worried this time around. I'm sure it's because I'm afraid that I'm going to have the same outcome as our 1st cycle. I just wish things would come easy to us...just this once. Fingers crossed!

On another note, the H1N1 has officially entered my workplace. I work in a hospital, so it was inevitable to begin with. A lot of us were unknowingly exposed, so we're praying that it doesn't spread like wildfire. So far, only a few employees are out, so we'll see. My concern is if I get it while going through a cycle...would a fever harm our eggs/sperm? I have the vaccine available to me, but I've weighed the risks vs. benefits and decided against it for personal reasons. Even if I received the vaccine today, I've already been exposed so it does me no good...considering it takes about 2 weeks to build up enough antibodies anyway. Besides, I think the media has completely blown it out of proportion.

If everything goes as planned, I have another ultrasound next week and will start my Lupron injections. Let's hope my insurance company accidentally pays for it again this time:) They didn't even pay for my pregnancy blood test last cycle, so I'm going to suck them for all they are worth!

This Saturday is the last Carolina game we can attend this season and I'm so excited! Our cycle will get in the way of the remaining home games, but I don't care. I love Carolina, but finally having a little family is our number one priority. My parents and sister are going with us, so it should be a good time!

I will be in touch:)

Another Award!

Thanks to Jess at Babyparamore.blogspot.com for nominating me for my 2nd award! She is a source of unbelievable inspiration to me. She and her husband have been trying to conceive for over four years and have experienced four miscarriages. I had no idea that such a huge infertility community existed on Blogspot...it has turned into one big awesome support group. I'm so grateful for the friends I've made, especially Jess. She rocks! We've already promised each other we're going to hop on a plane to each other's baby showers, ha!



All we need is a little LOVE! This blog award is about sisters uniting together and giving others some love because life is hard and who couldn't use a little love? The rules for this award are simple.

I LOVE YOU=8 letters which gives you 8 rules:


Here are the rules:

1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.

2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.

4-Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17?) who you love or you think could use some love

5. Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.

6. You can not nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all

7-Post links to the 17 blogs you nominate.

8-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.


I can't name just 17...all of the blogs I follow are fantabulous! So, if you read my blog, then I nominate you.

IVF or the Island Life?

Our visit to Charleston went very well! Our doctor had a lot of positive things to say, and we left more optimistic about going through with IVF #2. We have been a little skeptical over the past month about whether we should go through with it again, or just accept our losses and move to the islands:)

What went wrong? Well, Dr. P said that he and the two other doctors in the practice have been steadily trying to figure this out over the past month. Everything was perfect...I responded to the medications, my estrogen levels went up accordingly, the follicles grew, and the eggs were harvested.

Remember the "little" cyst that delayed my cycle? Well, it did a little more than delay the cycle. That son of a gun messed it all up. With most women, an ovarian cyst will not affect the outcome of the cycle. This is why they didn't pay it much attention.

To explain this better, I should not have ovulated or developed a cyst while on the birth control pills...we already knew this. When you start a fresh cycle, they want all of the follicles to be uniform in size. Apparently, the cyst was causing my estrogen levels to stay elevated, which in turn caused two of the follicles to prematurely develop before I started the stimulation meds. These two huge follicles continued to grow and kept growing in front of the others throughout the entire stimulation. They were just planning on letting those go (not using them) while proceeding to grow the smaller follicles. With most women this works out great. I, on the other hand, do not have the reproductive system that agrees with these odds. In the end, the two big follicles interfered with the development of the smaller follicles. Hence, my outcome: 8 retrieved, 3 immature, 4 degenerated, 1 fertilized.

Was this my fault? No.

Dr. P said that if anyone is to blame, it is them for not paying closer attention to the cyst which led to the overdeveloped follicles. Now that he knows that I'm Murphy's best friend, the plan is to over-monitor my next cycle. He did a post-IVF ultrasound which looked great...my ovaries are back down to size, lining is great, and a follicle count of 17. Woohoo! I do have a small fibroid, but he said that it is out of the way and it won't interfere with anything. He recommended that we try to go ahead with cycle 2 while everything looked clear. Which means in about 1 week. Oh my goodness.

I will have an ultrasound on Day 3 of birth control this time to check for any "little" cysts. If one grows, then he said I need to pack up and head to Charleston that day to have it aspirated before it causes any problems. Talk about being proactive!

I will have more ultrasounds this time around...if anything looks questionable at any point in the cycle, I will have to drive to Charleston so that they can do an ultrasound themselves.

They will be increasing the doses on Lupron, Follistim, and micro-HCG. Also, Andy will have his sperm frozen ahead of time so that they will have more to choose from. Dr. P said that the 2nd cycle usually has a better outcome because they know what they're working with. He feels very optimistic that everything will turn out fine this time around.

Now we have a big decision to make...we can go for it now while all is clear, or risk it by waiting until after the holidays. My gut is telling me that now is the right time. We've waited long enough and it's time to get this show on the road. As always, I'm worried about taking so much time off work. I absolutely love my job, but I've got to make this my priority.

We will lay it all out on the table over the next week and pray that the answer comes to us.

Although we haven't really ruled out that whole moving to the islands idea:)

My First Blog Award...Sweet!

Babyparamore.blogspot.com has given me my first blog award!!!
Thank you so much Jessica!
This award comes with some rules and a survey I have to fill out.

Rules
1. You Can Only Use One Word (Yeah right...we know that won't happen!)
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers
3. Alert them that you have given them this award
4. Have Fun!

The Fun Part
1. Where is your cell phone? Couch
2. Your hair? Long (Doing Locks of Love)
3. Your mother? My biggest supporter...hands down.
4. Your father? The Best
5. Your favorite food? Popcorn
6. Your dream last night? Had a baby that was shaped like a starfish and people were trying to steal it from me. k.
7. Your favorite drink? Weekday: Water...Weekend: Alcohol
8. Your dream/goal? Mother
9. What room are you in? Living Room
10. Your hobby? Gym
11. Your fear? Childless
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Picking my child up from school
13. Where were you last night? Driving back from Charleston
14. Something that you aren’t? Pregnant
15. Muffins? Chocolate Chip
16. Wish list item? Infertility Debt Forgiveness Program...ha!
17. Where did you grow up? North Augusta, SC
18. Last thing you did? Watch Football
19. What are you wearing? My Gamecock Gear!
20. Your TV? On, of course...it's gameday!
21. Your pets? My doggie...Ellie May
22. Friends? After last cycle, I now know who the true ones are:)
23. Your life? Uncertain
24. Your mood? Pumped!
25. Missing someone? Leeann!
26. Vehicle? Garnet Ford Explorer Sport (gotta have a gamecockmobile)
27. Something you’re not wearing? Underwear
28. Your favorite store? Hobby Lobby
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When was the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Last Friday
32. Your best friend? My husband
33. One place that I go to over and over? Doctor's office
34. One person who emails me regularly? Amanda & Mom
35. Favorite place to eat? Hmmmm...Mexican, Bonefish, California Dreaming, McCalister's, Wild Wing Cafe, Chinese, Japanese, Sushi, Blue Sky Kitchen, Mellow Mushroom, Pizza Joint...that was one word, right?

Recipients
1. Melissa at Banking on a Family
2. Naomi at 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility
3. FC at Fertility Chick
4. Shanny at I did, I do, I will
5. Megan at Infertile Myrtle
6. Lu at Fertility Foibles


................................................................................

We did see our doctor in Charleston yesterday and he had a lot to say! I'm trying to gather my thoughts to write a post regarding the appointment. However, it's Saturday and college football is calling my name! I will be in touch!

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Sorry to be MIA, but all is good here! We have our WTF? appointment this Friday morning in Charleston...can't wait to find out our next step. We've been able to enjoy a couple of Gamecock football games and celebrate my Grandparent's 80th birthday with a huge reunion that my Aunt and Uncle threw together. We were also able to travel to the mountains of North Carolina this past weekend to meet our new niece for the first time!

I came across the following essay and would like to share it. The author is unknown, but I sure would like to meet her because she took the words right out of my mouth!


Thoughts on Becoming a Mother:

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I WILL be a wonderful mother.

~Author Unknown

The Scream Machine

Well, they say that infertility is a neverending emotional roller coaster. It takes forever to get to the top of each hill, and then it feeds you a huge adrenaline rush as it drops you 80 mph down the other side. Before you know it, you're twisting and turning upside down while being spit into dark tunnels. You just never know how you're going to come out on the other side. It's not for the faint of heart, it costs an arm and a leg to even get on the damn ride, and the short people are jealous because they can't join in on the fun. Well, maybe not that last part but it sounded good. It's just not fair. Most people come out alive, but not without a story to tell.

Our beta pregnancy test was negative today, but we're actually okay. Disappointed, but okay. After 4.5 years, it never really gets easier to hear "not this time"...we have just learned to tolerate it a little better. We could feel a little more upset tomorrow, but it usually comes in waves. So if we just don't feel like talking about it, please don't be offended. We don't want people to pity us or be uncomfortable around us...it's just the hand that we've been dealt and we have to accept it regardless of the outcome. I cheated anyway the entire weekend with home pregnancy tests, so I was prepared to hear it. Plus, I just never really "felt" anything. Over the years I've learned to read my body and it wasn't telling me anything different. Then again, I have never been pregnant, so that intuition could prove me wrong one day.

We're not sure when we're going to try again because it all depends on saving the money to pay for meds/ultrasounds again. Plus, we have to save up vacation time at work to be able to take time off for another cycle. We are going to schedule our "WTF?" appointment in the coming month so that we can sit down with our doctor, figure out what went wrong, and map out our next plan of action. We can definitely learn from this cycle so that we know what to do differently next time. Maybe different meds, a longer/shorter stimulation period, etc. We were told that it could take 2-3 cycles on average, so we have to be mentally prepared for that. We'll see what he has to say.

We're proud of Deuce. He put up a good fight and we're gonna miss him. Atleast I have pictures of the first ever Andyjessica at a cellular level...most people just get peanuts:)

For now, I have ripped off my estrogen patches and graciously stopped the progesterone wahoohoo suppositories. We may even head to the Carolina/UGA game this weekend and partake in some adult beverages with friends because...well...because we can.

We want to thank everyone again for the wonderful support. You have been awesome and all we ask is that you continue to keep us in your prayers. One day we will get off of this "Scream Machine" and hopefully have a +positive+ story to tell.

Sticky Vibes

Isn't this picture a bit disturbing? Fitting, but disturbing!

I finally got my butt out of bed this morning and went back to work. I don't think I've ever slept as much as I did over the past 4 days! The bedrest was much needed, and it definitely helped me to recoup from the stress we experienced around this time last week. I continue to be on activity restriction, so I volunteered to be the phone nurse at work for the week. It's an annoying job, but the only thing strenuous about it is pulling a few hairs out of my head every 10 minutes, so it'll do.

I had to start taking progesterone suppositories 3x/day (Yes, while I'm at work...and I'll spare you the classy details) and 2 estrogen patches to my abdomen every other day. This is because my body isn't producing them like it would after normal ovulation. These two hormones support the lining of the uterus, as well as an actual pregnancy, so I have to have them. If an actual pregnancy occurs, I have to continue them them up until about 10 weeks of pregnancy. This is when the placenta would be functioning enough to produce enough of the hormones on its own.

I'm feeling pretty good but it's a little difficult to keep the anxiety away. I think about it atleast once every 5 minutes and wish I didn't have to wait another week to see if it worked! The progesterone makes my body feel as if it's pregnant anyway...extreme hunger, hot flashes, abdominal tenderness, sore udders, the usual. I have been eating like a wild boar and I can't stop! It's so early, and there's no way of distinguishing the side effects of meds between pregnancy symptoms.

I'm going to let myself enjoy the rest of this week because this is the closest I have ever been to being pregnant. I will cherish every little pinch I feel to my abdomen and pray that Deuce is making himself at home. The IVF community also terms this phase as "pregnant until proven otherwise" haha! God has a plan, and we will try be patient and get our answer soon.

Our family and friends have been awesome and we want to thank y'all again! From the meals, visits, texts, calls, blog comments, prayer lists, care packages, etc...it is so overwhelming. We are thankful for each and every one of you! Hopefully, we will have a happy ending to our story soon!

We hope everyone has a fun and safe Labor Day/football weekend! I will be taking another weekend filled with R&R, but the ESPN will be in full force. GOOOOO COCKS!

Deuce Bigalow

All of our prayers were answered and everything went smoothly and as planned this morning. Thank you all SO MUCH for the prayers! We have the best friends and family ever.

Our little embaby was 8 cells this morning and our doctor said it's structure looked pretty good. They look for the shape of the cells and if any chunks are floating around outside of it and he said that it was good enough for transfer according to their standards. He was disappointed at how my ovaries responded and said that it looked like I had poor ovarian function for a woman my age, which may explain why we can't get pregnant naturally. If there comes a time that we have to do this again, God forbid, then we may have to look into egg donors. We're not going to worry about that right now...we will cross that bridge if we have to! The main thing we need to concentrate on is that we did grow 1 good embryo, and that's all it takes!

We nicknamed the embaby "Deuce" on Monday when it was just two cells...I know, we're crazy. It was Andy's idea though. Technically, it is a baby so it had to have a name. Deuce has been the little engine that could, and he definitely beat a lot of odds this week. We are so grateful that everything turned out perfectly today. God is good.

I had to take a Valium and an antibiotic one hour before the transfer this morning. Needless to say, any anxiety I had was null and void by the time I wobbled into the office. I was feeling pretty doped up. I also had to go in with a full bladder, and of course I chugged twice the recommended amount of water just to make sure it was full enough. (((Pop))). The full bladder pushed my uterus down which helped them to better visualize the transfer on the ultrasound monitor. There was a team of about 6 people in the room for the procedure. It was basically like a pap smear, no discomfort whatsoever. The nurse held the ultrasound monitor on my abdomen and when the doctor said "go" the embryologist sucked Deuce up into a tiny catheter, then the doctor thread the catheter into my uterus and placed him exactly where he needed to be with ultrasound guidance. The embryologist then placed the catheter under a microscope to make sure that Deuce was gone.

I have been on bed rest today and then activity restriction until Friday. I'm afraid to move! I feel like he's going to fall out, but the doctor assured me that after a couple of days, normal day to day activities will not affect the outcome. Of course I can't do any strenuous activities, and going to the gym is out of the question, but I will sacrifice anything for this baby to stick! My doctor said it's okay to go back home tomorrow, so that's our plan. It will be nice to lay around the house and do absolutely nothing!

And now, without further ado, we introduce Deuce! The first picture is a little distorted but is the 8 cell embaby, and the second pic is my ultrasound with the arrow pointing to Deuce in my uterus. They said that implantation occurs in 3 to 4 days, and we will find out if it worked on September 8th. Please send baby dust our way and pray that this baby sticks!!! Love to all!

Our Petri Dish is Pregnant!

That's right! We have an embryo growing in the lab as of this morning. Unfortunately, only one fertilized and it was with the help of ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). The photograph to the right helps to visualize the process. This is when the embryologist finds a good sperm cell and injects it into the egg with a tiny needle. It is amazing what they can do nowadays. He said that he had a hard time finding a good sperm cell to inject into the egg, but we are just thankful that we have one that fertilized. That is much better than getting a phone call that said none of them fertilized.

They retrieved 8 eggs from my surgery yesterday, 5 of which were mature. The other 3 were described as "degenerative"...I'll know more about what that means once we talk to my doctor later this week. I would have asked the embryologist this morning, but I was still trying to register in my mind that there was only one embryo. Our doctor had estimated that 5 would fertilize, but this was before the results of the sperm sample were back. Overall, the surgery went well...I got a nice dose of "Michael Jackson" and slept most of yesterday and all through the night. Now I know why he liked that stuff! I'm still a little sore today, but they said that is normal. Apparently, my ovaries are supposed to fill up with fluid after the retrieval, so I'm trying to stay hydrated and rest as much as I can.

The next 48 hours are critical in the little embaby's development. It has to divide properly or it won't be viable enough to use. Right now it is at the stage where mine and Andy's chromosomes have welded together...They want it to have atleast divided into 8 cells by Wednesday morning. We need all of the prayers we can get right now. Who knew it would be so hard for us to achieve one of the simplest things in human nature! If it looks viable on Wednesday morning, then they will put it inside of my uterus at 11:15 am. We are still in Charleston and will stay here for the time being. We went ahead and took the week off work so that we wouldn't have to deal with the stress of this along with work matters. Plus, I'm on activity restriction from my doctor, and will be on bedrest if the transfer takes place on Wednesday.

Andy's thoughts on the matter are that he beat all of the odds when his mother was pregnant with him, so he doesn't see why our embaby shouldn't survive! Andy was a Lippes Loop IUD baby...oh yeah. Conceived and baked for 9 months with an IUD smashed up against his face the entire time. He had a 50/50 chance of surviving with the IUD inside of his mother. If she would have had it removed, it would have aborted the pregnancy.

So that's our hope. Our little embaby is the "golden egg". This is completely out of my body and hands now. It is now up to God to decide if it's time for us to become parents.

Please please pray that our embaby looks like this on Wednesday! We will be in touch!

Trigger Happy

Ladies and Gents...(well, whatever gents would care to read about my gonads on a daily basis)... I am RIPE! My follicles are mature and my uterine lining looks "beautiful" according to my doctor. All of my follicles did a lot of growing overnight and they counted 6 at maturity today. After speaking with my nurse, my estrogen level has jumped from 800 to 2500 which is supposedly where it needs to be. However, because of my estrogen level, they said that there are more than 6 follicles. Not sure where they are hiding, but they better cooperate this weekend!

I have been instructed to stop all of the injections that I've been taking for the past month (my poor bruised belly loves that idea) and administer my "trigger" injection tonight at 10:00 p.m. sharp. I already have it mixed, in the fridge, and waiting to be drawn up! I have to be in Columbia at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow for my last round of bloodwork because my Augusta doctor will not be open. Surgery for my retrieval will be on Sunday at 8:30 a.m in Charleston.

We'll probably head down to Charleston tomorrow evening so that we will already be there and ready to go. I can't believe this is actually happening...I never thought that I'd be able to do IVF! Yay!

A big shout out to my Sister-In-Law who is in labor right now...good luck and we love you! Can't wait to meet our niece Haley soon!

I will probably be zonked from anesthesia on Sunday, but I will update as soon as I'm back to my old self. I hope they give me some good drugs. Wish us luck!!!

This Is Your Ovary...And This Is Your Ovary On Drugs.

***Note: These are not my ultrasound pics...however, this is very similar to what I see each time I get an ultrasound. Each black area is a follicle on the ovary. The bottom half of the pic is a stimulated ovary***

We are almost there!!! Yay! I have about 5 mature follicles along with quite a few smaller ones. My labs look really good and they told me that I was almost ready for retrieval. I was told to take another stimulation shot tonight, then my other injections in the morning before going back to the doctor for more labwork and another ultrasound. My nurse believes that I will have to "trigger" tomorrow night and have the retrieval on Sunday morning in Charleston. My appointment tomorrow will give us the final answer. Let's hope I don't have to wait almost TWO hours to be called back like I did today! I guess they don't care that you have to take off work every other day to do this.

The trigger injection is one of the most critical parts of the cycle. It induces the final maturation of the eggs, loosens the egg's attachment from the follicle wall, and allows for timing of the egg retrieval. It basically prepares my body for ovulation...however, my doctor will manually ovulate me before my body does the deed itself. I will have the retrieval exactly 36 hours after I give myself the trigger.

The trigger is called HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) and is the same hormone that is present in pregnancy. This hormone is what makes a pee stick turn positive when you are preggo. Therefore, if I try to pee on a stick (too much info, I know) in the next couple of weeks, it will say that I'm pregnant. The only way to confirm that the IVF works is through a blood test 14 days after the retrieval.

I know this because I had to take this injection with all 6 of my IUI's and made the mistake of testing too early. It is pretty cool to see a positive on a pregnancy test though. Sometimes I would just do it for the fun of it, haha!

And P.S...My ovaries don't feel like peaches, they feel like WATERMELONS!

Insane!!!

Just read this article and thought I would share. Absolutely incredible. Hopefully we'll have some frozen embryos for the next litter!

Celine Dion Pregnant With Embryo Frozen for 8 Years

Just Peachy...

I have been a nervous wreck all day. I have got to stop reading IVF horror stories on the internet. I even had my mother on the brink of throwing up all day. Sorry mom!

I don't really remember much from today up until my nurse finally called me back around 2:30 this afternoon. When I went in this morning, they measured 4 medium follicles (cysts containing eggs) ranging in size from 11mm to 15 mm. This is the exact size they want them to be at this point in time. There were several smaller follicles that may contain eggs, but they don't measure those. They may "catch up" before retrieval, who knows. Of course, I've learned how to read the ultrasound monitor and saw a big black blob on the left ovary! They hate me. Nurses can be the worst patients. Anyway, there is a big fat follicle measuring about 22 mm on that side....which translates to almost an inch. I knew I felt something...I've been going through this long enough to know my body all too well. The Augusta doctor can't give me his opinion because he's not technically my doctor, so I got to play the waiting game all day!

I picked up the phone when the nurse called expecting to hear that I was going to be cancelled, as I had spent the entire day convincing myself that this was the case. Not to be pessimistic, but I have to mentally prepare myself for bad news because, unfortunately, it is the norm when it comes to infertility. She wasn't concerned about it right now!!! Thank you God. She referred to it as a mature follicle and said that we would continue to push through the cycle. My estrogen came back normal at 800 which is good. She said we will keep our fingers crossed that everything continues to go according to plan, and that I will be rechecked on Thursday morning. I've read that some women go in for the retrieval surgery and they were able to obtain more eggs than were seen on the ultrasounds. Let's face it, I'm not 21 anymore...Four eggs are better than nothing, but the more I can get the better the chances of a successful outcome.

Another interesting tidbit I learned from my doctor today...an ovary is normally the size of a grape. In a patient undergoing stimulation for IVF, it is about the size of a peach. Hmmmmm....

Migraines and Gonads

This morning, I went to the doctor to have my bloodwork drawn. I must say that it's a lot easier to drive through downtown on a Sunday morning. My appointment was originally scheduled to be yesterday, but my Augusta doctor was only scheduled to be open this morning. Instead of making me drive to Charleston, they let me delay my labwork by a day. My nurse called me back this afternoon to tell me that my estrogen level looks good! I will take the same dose of medications tonight and in the morning, but I will have to decrease the night med (Follistim) beginning tomorrow night. Don't ask me why...I just do what they tell me to do, haha! My guess is because they don't want my estrogen to go above a certain level, so they have to titrate the dose to keep it where they want it to be. My next appointment will be Tuesday morning and will include labwork as well as an ultrasound.

I was feeling pretty good up until about Friday...I woke up nauseated with a massive migraine and I'm pretty sure it was either from stimulation meds or caffeine withdrawal. I couldn't even function at work for most of the day, but was able to get through it. I'm not supposed to take any ibuprofen or aspirin products because it may affect the lining of my uterus, but I had to do it. Excedrin Migraine is my new best friend.

I'm also feeling a bit of pressure and bloating in the gonad region...I just think that gonad is a funny word. Anyway, I know it's because I probably have, like, 18 eggs growing on my ovaries at this very point in time...but I can't seem to get it out of my mind that the cyst is growing back. I will know once I have the ultrasound Tuesday morning. I'm not sure what they will do if I have a cyst...I know they can do surgery to aspirate them, or....cancel the cycle. Dear God, please let it be 18 eggs. I think that I'm just stressing, which is human nature considering all that we have been through to get to this point. Just like I said before, I have to put it in God's hands.

In other news, I was able to attend my little sister's first baby shower on Saturday. It was hosted by our second mom and sistas from another mister...the Thomas girls. Thanks for a great time...y'all are the best!