You Gotta Have Faith-a-Faith-a-Faith-ahhhh

Okay, so I have to drop the comedy act and get all serious on y'all...but just this once. I might even throw in a surprise T-Shirt Tuesday to cheery up your day!

I received the following letter from a close friend of mine and wanted to share it with you all. She found these words of inspiration in a book that she is currently reading, and thought that it would give me hope. She was right...it gave me chills and gave me some perspective as to why Andy and I have come to this particular crossroad in our relationship. This excerpt not only applies to infertility, but to many issues in life that someone may face. Thank you, sweet friend, for your comforting words and support!

Why did God allow this to happen to me?

There comes a time in your life when you have to take a step out in faith and really believe that God has a plan for your life. Everyone you know and everything that happens is God's hand trying to bring you closer to him.

Take a step further, you need to believe that God's plan will make you happy. This may seem contradictory to your current situation, but remember, things are not always what they seem. You are in the thick of the situation. You are filled with anger, resentment, grief...but God knows your pain! He knows what you are going through, he is aware of what is happening in your life, and he is trying to help you learn and grow through these circumstances. It may seem like a jumbled mess now, but if you allow God access to your life, he will take it and make it something wonderful. He will make you happier than you could ever imagine.

In addition to being present in your life, God has a plan. It takes hope for the future to survive >>insert problem here<< and hope is possible, even on the darkest of nights. 

It also takes Faith. Trust in God.

"I know you are suffering. I love you, and now I want to show you the way through your suffering into happiness." Christ says. 

While you may not have a clue as to what God has planned for you in the future, you can be rest assured that it is going to be better than you can imagine.

Now, I don't want to turn this into a Bible study, but this really made my heart happy. I've never really told a lot of people this, but Andy and I have been together 13 years and never had a relationship with God until recently. As a matter of fact, the only time we've stepped foot in a church together was our wedding (in a chapel, if that's even considered church), and for special events. I was raised Catholic, but several issues turned me away from the church during my high school years.

It was infertility that brought us to God in January of last year right after we lost our baby. We saw a video sermon online from the church we go to now, and in it was a couple they interviewed about their recent stillbirth. They inspired me because even though they just lost their baby at full term, they believed that there was a reason for it and they still had FAITH. Sure, they were extremely upset...but they didn't hate God. They knew that God needed their baby for a special reason, and would leave them with a gift of peace unlike any kind that the world can give. Sure enough, she was pregnant again a few months later and were blessed with a healthy baby this past Christmas.

We may never know God's reasoning in taking their baby, but they remained patient, kept their faith, and because of this, they were blessed in the end. They never gave up on God or rebelled against Him.

Now, the freaky part of this story is that the father in this story had been popping up in my life at random times in the last few years. He is a pastor at our new church and when I ran into him, he would always ask me if we had a church. It's just weird to me how all of these events just fell into place. What brought me to that church's website, and what brought me to that particular sermon about "Loss" right when I had my own miscarriage?

Was it God's plan to put us through infertility hell to bring Andy and I to Him? It certainly seems so. Had we gotten pregnant the first month of trying, we may have never stepped foot in a church. And if we hadn't stepped foot in our church last January, there's a good chance we would be divorced right now. We were on the verge of hating life and hating each other.

As quoted above, "Everyone you know and everything that happens is God's hand trying to bring you closer to him....He is trying to help you learn and grow through these circumstances."

Before last January, I never understood why people would get "saved", why they would give up sleep and waste their Sunday mornings in church showing off their clothes and gossiping. Our struggle with infertility made my hatred even worse. I would never think in a million years that the tables would turn and I would be a Jesus freak. Believe me, I am the last person who would have thought that this would be my life. We have been tested time and time again, and this is probably the reason why.

I know the subject of religion is controversial, but I just wanted to share our story. I just have to remember that I cannot control the outcome of anything, and I have to have faith and trust that our prayers will eventually be answered.

Infertility sucks, but I'm grateful that it brought me to God, a new outlook in life, faith, and saved our marriage. Andy and I have gained a powerful coping mechanism that gives us hope when we're at our weakest.

We "allowed God access to our lives. He will take it and make it something wonderful. He will make us happier than we could ever imagine."

I certainly hope so! ;)

Before this river becomes an ocean, before you throw my heart back on the floor...Oh baby, I reconsider my foolish notion. Well, I need someone to hold me but I'll wait for something more. Yes, I've got to have faith. I've got to have faith-a-faith-a-faith-ahhh. 

~George