RESOLVE's Family Building Conference Part 2...How to be Your Own Advocate in Treatment

I mentioned that during this conference they had several classes that spoke about all realms of family building. One class we found particularly interesting was How to be Your Own Advocate in Treatment. The moderators of this class were two doctors from a local RE clinic and a volunteer/infertility advocate from RESOLVE. It was cool because there was no power point presentation ((snore)). We all just sat around and casually talked, and they were happy to answer any questions that we had.

This class was especially good for us because it sometimes feels as if everything is so out of our control that it's difficult to just jump in and grab the reins. Fertility treatments are so intricate and overwhelming that we tend to find ourselves being passive and leaving it in the doctor's hands. There have been several times when we have felt like something just wasn't right, and if we would have gone with our gut and spoken up then some things could have been avoided.

One good example, the SEVEN IUIs that we did with our 1st and 2nd REs. Seven. It's not like we had insurance coverage for these and could just do them like they were going out of style. Usually if an IUI doesn't work after 4-5 cycles, then that should throw up a red flag, right? Not to mention the fact that our doctor kept the same regimen every single time. Clomid, Clomid, Clomid, Clomid, Clomid, Clomid, wait for it...Clomid. He finally decided to throw some progesterone in on the last couple of IUIs but they never resulted in a pregnancy. I'm not surprised that I developed several huge cysts because my poor ovaries just couldn't handle seeing the Clomid coming at them anymore.

We were about 1-2 years into the journey at this time, so we didn't know any better. We trusted our doctor to do what he thought was best for us. In reality, he should have stopped sooner and changed our protocol. We could have tried injectables among several other options. In the end we spent the equivalent of an IVF cycle on failed IUIs...and this, my friends, was not very cost efficient. A good doctor would have looked out for our best interests...and this is why he is not our RE anymore.

The moral of the story is to ask questions! Ask why? Educate yourself as much as you can on your diagnosis and take part in the decision making process when it comes to your treatment. You HAVE to speak up for yourself, and sometimes that means being the "annoying" patient. When you are looking for a RE (or any doctor for that matter) look at it as if it is another relationship. As all of us probably know, a successful relationship requires communication and trust.

The two REs also recommended getting a second opinion if you feel the need to, even if it is with another doctor in the same practice. It's more power to YOU. They said that most MDs that have good communication skills are not going to be offended that you are getting a second opinion because they want what is best for you.

On another note, they stressed becoming an advocate with legislation and insurance coverage for infertility treatments. As of now, <10% of couples pursuing treatments have insurance that covers or helps to cover treatments. Infertility treatments are still considered "elective" procedures. Last time I checked, we didn't "elect" to be infertile so this is ridiculousness. Having a baby does not equal a boob job or butt implants.

One thing that made my blood boil was learning that there is a Lobbyist in D.C. that is fighting every single day just to keep infertility treatments LEGAL in the state of Georgia. RESOLVE recently won a showdown against legislators and you can read about it here: Georgia Infertility Bill

Because of the legal issues going down in GA, there is no hope for infertility coverage to be mandated in this state anytime soon. There are only about 15 states that currently mandate insurance coverage for treatments at this time. My doctor is in SC, which is another state that is not mandated. I will have to do a little research to see if there are any comparable bills that they are trying to pass in this state.

They did say that we could advocate for insurance coverage in our places of employment because companies are allowed to pick the types of coverage that they want to pick up. Infertility coverage is usually readily available, but employers just don't feel that it's important or that it's really needed. They assume that the cost of adding this to their policies will be astronomical, when in fact it only costs about $5/head to add-on. I know that it has been proposed by other employees at my company and they were told no. So, it's difficult to get people who haven't struggled with infertility and the financial impact of it all to realize how important this coverage can be for some people. It's like beating a dead horse. So, I guess we now need to ask Andy's company, ha! Never give up!

That's about all we took home from this little segment...it was quite an interesting talk! We're especially glad that we could just sit down and be candid with the doctors without having to worry about them sticking a camera up my vajayjay.

No modesty...sorry.

In life or science, the most successful people are those who most quickly adapt to Plan B.